Hey hello hi. Welcome to the first installment of my political humor newsletter, I Hope You Missed It. Each week, I’ll take you through some of the biggest stories that I hope you missed, then I’ll go into some smaller stories that I really hope you missed. And finally, I’ll end with an update on everyone’s favorite sprinting senator. Indeed, this is the only weekly political newsletter with an entire section devoted to Josh Hawley (I’m not sure that’s true, but I hope it is).
ack Hans, run! the Atlantic is pouring out into the internet! now nowhere will be safe from inundation of asinine redundant language from sophomores trying to sound smart. the new sequel to "biological sex" is out, "mechanical bicycle." not nearly as fun, sadly. here, we'll post the most normal looking picture of Pence ever and call him uncool. here's where we describe the political opposition as bozos, pretend half of them don't exist, and explain nothing about what's wrong with the other half. it's an editorial, get it? no need to bother getting into facts or details in an opinion article. we're here for people who buttchug The New Yorker and are still chasing that high of woke 'humor' about mental illness and oral sex. i know i'm the world's second worst critic, but i swear i really want to like this newsletter; it has a lot of potential. it's just torture trying to get water from the stone of establishment journalism, and independent reporters like you are the last chance we have at serious, credible, and honest left wing news. the Atlantic is particularly cruel to read, because i'll see a headline such as "Water is Wet" and think "thank God, a straight article!" and i open it up and the body says something like, "wetness is the quality of being saturated or covered by water, and all water's got water in and on it." and next thing i know i'm morally compelled to engage in dumb debate with dishonest people stuck with the indefensible appearing but accurate position of "water isn't wet" because their claim would result in an infinitely large universe comprised of nothing but water and they just upended my long held beliefs by trying to defend them as poorly as possible.
ack Hans, run! the Atlantic is pouring out into the internet! now nowhere will be safe from inundation of asinine redundant language from sophomores trying to sound smart. the new sequel to "biological sex" is out, "mechanical bicycle." not nearly as fun, sadly. here, we'll post the most normal looking picture of Pence ever and call him uncool. here's where we describe the political opposition as bozos, pretend half of them don't exist, and explain nothing about what's wrong with the other half. it's an editorial, get it? no need to bother getting into facts or details in an opinion article. we're here for people who buttchug The New Yorker and are still chasing that high of woke 'humor' about mental illness and oral sex. i know i'm the world's second worst critic, but i swear i really want to like this newsletter; it has a lot of potential. it's just torture trying to get water from the stone of establishment journalism, and independent reporters like you are the last chance we have at serious, credible, and honest left wing news. the Atlantic is particularly cruel to read, because i'll see a headline such as "Water is Wet" and think "thank God, a straight article!" and i open it up and the body says something like, "wetness is the quality of being saturated or covered by water, and all water's got water in and on it." and next thing i know i'm morally compelled to engage in dumb debate with dishonest people stuck with the indefensible appearing but accurate position of "water isn't wet" because their claim would result in an infinitely large universe comprised of nothing but water and they just upended my long held beliefs by trying to defend them as poorly as possible.