We Need to Go to War to Avoid a War

Ladies and gentlemen, I’m here with a simple entreaty. War is costly, painful, and cruel. No civilized society should engage in it. Plus, the polling on it is terrible. Therefore, I believe I speak for all of us when I say we need to avoid war at all costs. And so, I’m humbly asking your permission to do what is necessary to dodge these atrocities. Befo…